Monday, September 7, 2009

....

Lately I have been really anxious, on edge, a little lonely, quick to anger, straight up pissed, and lost. I have this underlying feeling that time is running out, that I need to start making my moves now or my opportunities will be gone. I feel the need to make big decisions now because it’s going to take several years to put those decisions into action. I’ve never really felt lost; never really felt like I didn’t know what was going on inside my head or around me, never this confused. I feel like I’m quickly heading into a dead end and I need to make my left or right hand turn as soon as possible because who knows if another chance will come my way. Who do I have by my side and who isn’t…why aren’t those people by my side anymore? How did I mess up that badly? I’ve gone from thinking I knew what was going on, knew that everything is under control, to feeling so lost and disoriented…running in circles. What am I to do? There are people that I really want to talk to but…I can’t, some don’t want to talk because I bug them or annoy them, some just flat out don’t like me, some just don’t have the time or wouldn’t understand. Then there are people who are always willing to talk but to be honest I don’t want to talk to them, I shutdown and zone out. There are times that I just want to cry, maybe it’s because I feel like I have lost control of everything due to me messing up or not paying attention. The world is flying by me and I’m standing still, I don’t know what to do.

No comments:

Post a Comment